Family don't end with blood, boy

                Family is a common theme in many narratives. It’s something that is easy to do and always evokes some sort of reaction from the audience. But what exactly is family? Does family only count those of blood relation, or does it extend passed that? The answer to that isn’t exactly clear, and if you look at pop culture the answer seems mixed. Personally, I believe that family, your real family, are the people you choose.

                In Supernatural, the importance of family is put front and centre in the very first episode (a whole 240 episodes ago) when Dean reunites with his brother Sam to go find their missing father, all the while hunting the demon that killed their mother. Family is kind of a big deal in Supernatural. But as the seasons progress, so does the idea of family. While at the beginning family literally meant blood relations, it soon came to include Bobby (who became a surrogate father to the boys), Ellen (a surrogate mother), Jo, Charlie, Cas (an angel), Kevin (a prophet), Chuck (a writer, and (SPOILER) God), and even Crowley (a demon). The following is one of the most quoted exchanges on the show:

Dean: This isn't your fight.

Bobby: The hell it isn't! Family don't end with blood, boy.

The fandom has taken this and turned it into a way of life. The official name for the fandom is the Supernatural family.

                Bobby’s quote resonated with a lot of people, including myself. Biologically speaking, my family is fairly small, and we’re pretty spread out. Never mind that half of the family doesn’t speak to each other. I always wanted a big family, I wanted to know that there were a ton of people out there who loved me and cared for me, so I made my own. Because family doesn’t end in blood, family is everyone that cares about you.

                A favourite saying of people who think family is blood relations is the old adage: “Blood is thicker than water!” And while that statement has merits, it has been having a rough history as of late. A Rabbi has come forward and said that the original phrase was closer to: “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the waters of the womb.” It’s a statement I personally agree with, however when one does a rudimentary search of the phrase, there is no source of the statement before this Rabbi. Maybe that was the original, maybe this Rabbi has a sense of humour, it’s hard to say and harder to prove. This whole paragraph is basically pointless other than to answer the question of why I didn’t use this quote pre-emptively.

                How I Met Your Mother really took the idea of choosing your family and ran with it. None of the main characters are related by blood, but they were one of the closest families in television history. You knew that they loved each other unconditionally. You knew that they would always have each other’s backs, even when they were fighting. This idea that your friend group could become your family has been instrumental in my own understanding of the concept.

                Family is important. Outside of nourishment and shelter, it’s arguably the most important aspect of a person’s life. The idea that our family is a group of people forced on us by simple genetics is ridiculous. Family is not a title that is given out by right of birth, family is a title that is earned and fought for. A friend—family member!—and I were talking about this the other day, and summed up my beliefs thusly: “Way I see it, you got blood relations, and you got family. Sometimes the blood relations don’t get to be family.”

                When I think of my own family, there are very few blood relations that I would consider to be part of my real family, and I’m not meaning any disrespect towards them, they just aren’t an influential part of my day-to-day existence.  I still consider them family, just not family. Obviously, my parents are part of those I consider to be my true family, and the rest of you know who you are (hopefully).

                Literally a quarter of this was just me talking about Supernatural, and honestly I had to rein myself in. Other pop culture I was going to touch on: Harry Potter, Arrow, Doctor Who and Torchwood, Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica (2004), Frodo and Sam (Lord of the Rings for you heathens), Guardians of the Galaxy (Peter Quill and literally everyone), Orphan Black, KillJoys, Dark Matter, Chuck, Stargate SG-1 and Atlantis, and The Expanse. Know what I wasn’t going to talk about? Friends. Those people were not a family (other than Joey and Chandler).