Firsts

        The first real video for Weekly Queer News went up this weekend!  A day after it was supposed to... YouTube has been hating me lately for some reason, and keeps stopping my uploads at 71%. I thought I had the problem fixed, and set the video to upload and publish automatically before I headed to my parent's for the weekend. Unfortunately, I did not have the problem solved, and the video didn't upload. But I got it to work last night! And today's vlog went up on time, so maybe the problem is fixed now?
        I feel like WQN will get emotionally draining some weeks, there are so many sad stories out there, and it's hard to find the uplifting ones sometimes. I am going to try to end each episode with some happy news though! Something uplifting, or just not horrible?
       I feel like I shouldn't just post another short story, but I honestly don't have anything to talk about today. It's like it's Monday or something weird like that. I know what I need to write, but I'm not ready to write that yet. Soon, maybe this week even. But not today. It was my first weekend without her. Every time the wind moved a door, I thought it was her coming to say hello. Every noise I couldn't place was just her pushing something out of her way. But it wasn't her, and that's all I'm going to say today.
        Save the rest Zak, not today, not while you're at work. It's okay, it's okay. Okay. Okay. Moving on.
        After all is said and done, all we have is movement.  

I'M A PROFESSIONAL WRITER AND I USE CAPS LOCK

Okay. Okay. Okay. I've calmed down sufficiently to actually type this. I have phenomenal news. Soon after I published my last blog, my editor got back to me. She loved my article. She loved it so much that instead of being online only, she has decided to print it as well! And I was supposed to be in an unpaid testing period, to see how will I fit in with the magazine and my editor. That's been scrapped. I'm getting paid for my article, and I've been added to their writing staff!
     I am now a professional writer. In every sense of the word. Getting paid to write has been my dream since elementary school, and now that dream is a reality! I have literally had one of my dreams come true. It's mind blowing. I could barely process it! I still can barely process it and it's almost been a week. I am a professional writer. After all the rejection letters, all the times I got knocked down and pushed aside, it's finally happening.
      I... I am so overwhelmed with emotions. I don't really know how to describe the amounts of sheer joy I felt, and still feel, when I read that email. I felt like I was floating. Like I was invincible. After all the hits I've taken over the past few years, I felt like I could do anything after reading that email. I read interviews from fellow writers talking about how long and hard they worked to get to where they are today, and I never thought that I would actually be able to call them my peers. If it was so hard for these people, who make up the pantheon of authors, how could I ever hope to be published? How could I ever even be on the lowest rung of that ladder to authordom. Yet here I am.
       I know a lot of negative people are out there who would belittle this accomplishment, who would tell me that it's just a magazine out of Winnipeg for the queer community. And ya know what? I'm sorry for those people. I'm sorry that they are so sad with their lives that they feel the need to belittle and degrade the accomplishments of others just to feel alright with themselves. And I know this feels a little off being added here, but I feel like I should just cover all the bases. So if you're reading this, and you feel like saying anything negative, just know that I feel sorry for you, and that I'm not going to care. Also, you can go--nope. I'm going to be nice.
      Thank you, to all of you who have believed in me, and have supported me along this crazy journey. To my parents who read and edited all the short stories I wrote in elementary and junior high, to the English teachers who have encouraged my writing since day one, to my friends who have put up with tuning them out because I had an idea and needed to get it down, to my sister Kat for always supporting me, and to everyone else, thank you. I wouldn't be celebrating this accomplishment without you. Thank you, and I love you.
       I'm expecting all of you to read it. And everything else I write.
      Also to subscribe to my channel: Zakitude Vlogs.  

The one that ended super seriously

     I filmed my most controversial news video yet. It shouldn't be something that's controversial, but I know it will be. I don't want to spoil it, you'll need to watch my video to see why.
     Today was a weird day.
     I didn't get as much accomplished as I wanted, or I feel like I didn't? I got a news show filmed, I sent off emails about Zakitude Consulting, but I didn't get any actual writing done, and that's where the feeling disaccompliment comes from.
     I'm a writer, but so much of my energy today went into different projects (my body and my business) instead of my passion. The days I feel most fulfilled are the days when I realistically get the least accomplished but got tons of writing done. I've probably got too many games going on right now, and I should narrow my focus, but I want all of these to succeed. I probably should focus on one of them until it does succeed, but I'm too nervous to put all my energy behind one project. What if I put all my efforts into one thing and it fails? Then where am I? Probably the same place I am right now...
      I got really mad while filming the news this afternoon. Like, super mad. Filming got intense, and I got emotional. It was a hard thing to film. While searching for a thumbnail just now, I got sad. I sat and looked at all the potential options, my heart slowly breaking.
      The world is standing at the edge of a cliff. There is so much hate floating around right now, that the smallest breeze will push the world over, and we all will fall with it. We can save the world, but it will require all of us. All of us have to stand up to the hate and show it that love is stronger. We cannot let the hate when. We cannot allow the hate to consume the world and bring it down around us.
     Come on people. Stand up.