Wow. You guys really like it when I put swears in my titles. I'll remember that. That being said, I'm really glad you guys enjoyed that post.
I was playing Rocket League with a friend last night, we were having a good time, and then he called something "gay". I was about to say something about that when he suddenly called himself on it. He went on to to try and figure out why he uses the term "gay" to mean something bad. He was doing this all himself! He was self-diagnosing why he said something. As with most people, he came to the conclusion that it was a hold-over from his youth, and he made the conscious decision to quit using "gay" as a substitute for "bad" or "sucks".
I mention this because as activists, it is very easy to get mad and go after someone for a slip of the tongue, or a regression to their youth. It doesn't excuse the action, but it does explain it. And, like my friend, I am sure many (not all) of the people who use these derogatory terms are not using them from a place of hate, merely a place of ignorance or familiarity. Like old people with their causal racism, we most gently remind these people that there are other, better words to use, and that by using words like "gay", "retarded", racial terms, etc., they could unintentionally hurting people. If the person is using them without ill-intent, they will be understanding and attempt to make a change.
If the person reacts negatively and calls you a "f****t liberal pussy" (as has happened to me, far too many times), that is when you can get upset and angry.
As activists, we must react calmly and rationally to these things. If we get angry at the slightest perceived slight, we lose our credibility, and we become part of the problem. We become toddlers having a tantrum, making things worse instead of better. We give the bigots more ammunition to fire at the "SJWs", and we make our position seem weak and ineffectual.
On a side note, I kinda agree with Felicia Day when it comes to the term "SJW"": since when is calling someone a warrior an insult? Hell yeah I fight for social justice.
We must face injustices with serenity. We must answer hateful screaming with calm conversation. If we scream back at those against us, all we do is add to the noise. Too often we excuse the casual hate from our friends and family, we too easily forgive it and don't say anything. But if we can't have a meaningful conversation with those closest to us on these matters, if we can't get them to listen to us, what chance have we with the world entire?
So the next time your friend says something is "gay", or a relative makes a racist remark, say something to them. Tell them that they shouldn't say that, and explain why. If they're a good, decent person, they'll listen and try to change. And if they aren't a good and decent person? Cut them out of your life. Don't become an audience to their hate simply because you feel a familial obligation to them. Just cut them out. Just because someone is family doesn't mean you need to listen to them or like them. Hell, there's a full side of my family that I only see at funerals.
Fill your life with positive people, and you will be making a positive change to the world. Fill your life with positive people, and you will be more effective at making positive changes to those around you. And most of all, be a positive person yourself. Honestly believe in the fights you take; don't pick up a banner for a cause just because it's trending. Fight the fights you believe in, and only those.
I was playing Rocket League with a friend last night, we were having a good time, and then he called something "gay". I was about to say something about that when he suddenly called himself on it. He went on to to try and figure out why he uses the term "gay" to mean something bad. He was doing this all himself! He was self-diagnosing why he said something. As with most people, he came to the conclusion that it was a hold-over from his youth, and he made the conscious decision to quit using "gay" as a substitute for "bad" or "sucks".
I mention this because as activists, it is very easy to get mad and go after someone for a slip of the tongue, or a regression to their youth. It doesn't excuse the action, but it does explain it. And, like my friend, I am sure many (not all) of the people who use these derogatory terms are not using them from a place of hate, merely a place of ignorance or familiarity. Like old people with their causal racism, we most gently remind these people that there are other, better words to use, and that by using words like "gay", "retarded", racial terms, etc., they could unintentionally hurting people. If the person is using them without ill-intent, they will be understanding and attempt to make a change.
If the person reacts negatively and calls you a "f****t liberal pussy" (as has happened to me, far too many times), that is when you can get upset and angry.
As activists, we must react calmly and rationally to these things. If we get angry at the slightest perceived slight, we lose our credibility, and we become part of the problem. We become toddlers having a tantrum, making things worse instead of better. We give the bigots more ammunition to fire at the "SJWs", and we make our position seem weak and ineffectual.
On a side note, I kinda agree with Felicia Day when it comes to the term "SJW"": since when is calling someone a warrior an insult? Hell yeah I fight for social justice.
We must face injustices with serenity. We must answer hateful screaming with calm conversation. If we scream back at those against us, all we do is add to the noise. Too often we excuse the casual hate from our friends and family, we too easily forgive it and don't say anything. But if we can't have a meaningful conversation with those closest to us on these matters, if we can't get them to listen to us, what chance have we with the world entire?
So the next time your friend says something is "gay", or a relative makes a racist remark, say something to them. Tell them that they shouldn't say that, and explain why. If they're a good, decent person, they'll listen and try to change. And if they aren't a good and decent person? Cut them out of your life. Don't become an audience to their hate simply because you feel a familial obligation to them. Just cut them out. Just because someone is family doesn't mean you need to listen to them or like them. Hell, there's a full side of my family that I only see at funerals.
Fill your life with positive people, and you will be making a positive change to the world. Fill your life with positive people, and you will be more effective at making positive changes to those around you. And most of all, be a positive person yourself. Honestly believe in the fights you take; don't pick up a banner for a cause just because it's trending. Fight the fights you believe in, and only those.
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