177

                One hundred and seventy-seven. That’s how many videos I’ve uploaded in the past year. That’s right, it’s been a year since I began to make regular uploads and share the more intimate aspects of my life with the wider world.

One year of filming my daily life.

One year of challenge videos.

One year of discussing serious issues.

One year of making bad puns.

One year of baring my soul.

And what a year it’s been. I’m going to talk about the changes that have happened, and the impact on my life, but first a thank you. I want to thank everyone who has watched my videos. I want to thank everyone who has read my blog. I want to think everyone who has sent me questions for my Q&A’s. I want to thank Tooch for giving me the topic of the one and only “Choose your vlog” video. I want to thank Matt for igniting the spark. And lastly, I want to thank my friends and family for putting up with my filming and the incessant talking to myself.

I wish I could say that this has been easy, that the filming came naturally, and that I was never afraid to be honest in a video. The truth is, it’s been so hard. Every time I’ve uploaded I’ve been scared. What if people hate it? What if people hate me? Every time I’ve discussed my asexuality I’ve been worried that the wrong people will see the videos and judge me. Every time I swore I was worried my family would see it and tell me to watch my language (the main reason there’s no footage of me playing Mario Kart).

As I filmed myself I became more confident (something I hear that pornstars also experience, so I’m in good company). When I was a teenager I hated my voice. As I aged, the hate calmed into a disliking, but once I began listening to myself speak on a regular basis I came to like my voice. As I discussed more things that were/are important to me, I grew more confident in them. I wasn’t ashamed of my hobbies once I started filming them. I wasn’t worried that people would think less of me for liking Star Trek, reading comics, or playing Pokémon.

I have been filming myself for a year now, and I don’t regret it. The only things I really regret are the days when I don’t film due to some outside factor. The days and weeks that go by without uploads don’t happen because I don’t want to film or edit, but simply because, for some reason, I cannot. The reasons range from the personal to the professional. I wish I could still be daily vlogging, and I will be actively trying to start that again, but there are times in life (especially when one isn’t rich) when daily uploads are just not feasible.

                But I have 177 vlogs, challenge videos, news videos, and rants that the entire world can watch.

There are 177 different adventures, 177 short movies that I have made. And I am proud of them and of myself. Here’s to the next year, and the next 177+ videos.

                Hopefully I’ll still be advertiser friendly (YouTube inside joke).