The Canadian Way

     I missed posting yesterday! I am so sorry! I just had a billion things to do, and I had to fall asleep extra early because I had to be awake extra early. I was on the road at just after 7 this morning. I had been awake for 3 hours before starting work today. I had a plan for yesterday's blog, but I think I will save it for the weekend... I don't want to rush it, so I'm not going to work on it right now, because I'm not sure how long I have...
     I started work with the Film Festival today! It's been pretty good. It's a fairly laid back atmosphere here, and everyone seems to get along fairly well. We hosted a screening today, so my morning had to do with that. This afternoon I went around and talked with a few businesses, then watched two very different documentaries to see which would be the best fit for a museum in Halifax.
     Sidebar: I hate this keyboard.
     I'm excited to be starting work here, less so about the drive. Today wasn't bad because the roads were perfect, and there was no fog or anything, but those conditions probably won't stick around for too long. It is winter in Saskatchewan after all. -40 has to show up eventually...
      I think this will probably be it for today. Just a quick update and an apology. The Canadian Way. 

More than a Sexuality

     I've come to the realization that my blog views are wildly inconsistent. Like, all over the board. From several hundred in a short time, to maybe a dozen over a week. That's so crazy. I'm writing all of them, I try and put the same amount of effort into them, but still the inconsistency.

     I blame it on the communists. 

     I'm kidding Russia! I don't blame you!

    The posts with the most views are always my ones about asexuality, which I am so happy about! I've written posts on it that have been read by thousands of people! That's my goal! Get the word out there, show the world we exist. At the same time however, I am more than just my sexuality. I don't want to capitalize on just one aspect of my life. I want to showcase all my individual facets. I only wish my "ordinary" posts would receive as much attention. 

     I got sidetracked by my phone and I have lost my train of thought. Drat. 

     I love who I am. I love the community that I am a part of because of my sexuality. I love writing about it and answering people's questions. But I also love science fiction, fantasy, film and television, video games, board games, the outdoors, animals! But whenever I write about those things, no one cares (a slight exaggeration, people are still reading them). I just wish that I could write a post about one of my other passions that would take fire as quickly as my ones on asexuality. 

     I feel oddly guilty at the thought of only writing about sexuality, like I'm selling part of myself out just to gain readership!

    I want to bring awareness, I want bring it into the public spectrum, but it's not everything that I am. I feel like all activists feel this way at some point or another. Anytime someone is fighting for something there is that worry that it will become their whole identity. The world will associate them with their cause and not anything else. Kinda like an actor being typecast, but on a more fundamental level. 

    I want to be known as myself, not my cause. I'm okay with people knowing who I am because of my cause, but they need to know that I am more than that.

    This is all a little confusing, but it's just kinda where my head is at right now, Tomorrow's blog will be different, a little more focused.

    I'm asexual, but I am more than my sexuality. 

Wasteland Wanderer

 SPOILERS

  
 For the past few days I have been wandering around the wastelands of Boston, scavenging materials to bolster my meager dwelling, and to help my group of survivors live and thrive. There's also the annoying case of my kidnapped infant, but that pales in comparison to building my perfect post-apocalyptic mansion (it's only two stories right now), getting the journalist to fall in love with me.
    I'm talking about Fallout 4, for those of you completely confused by my contrived conveyance. Fallout 4 is the latest game in the long-running Fallout franchise, and has seen a much better reception than New Vegas ever did.
    As with all Fallout games, in 4 you play as a survivor in the Wasteland, this time in the Boston area. In a unique twist, your character is actually from a time before the atomic war ruined the world, and is alive still from the cryogenic freezing that Vault 111 employed. While thawing out, you see your spouse murdered and your infant son taken by a group of raiders.
    You escape the Vault, intent on finding your son, only to find that over 200 years have passed the world is now completely different. You wander down to your old home, only to find it completely abandoned, except for your old robotic butler, who doesn't want to believe that your spouse has been murdered. He fills you in on what's been happening and tells you to go to a nearby settlement for help. It is here where the adventure really begins.
    You soon meet your first companion, the series staple Dogmeat (who was very noticeably absent from New Vegas), and all thoughts of finding your son are gone because doggie.

just look how cute he is

      The gameplay has come a long way since Fallout 3. The gun play actually feels somewhat good! It is now very possible to forget to use VATS while engaged in a firefight, whereas before VATS was usually the only way to survive! And they finally added something amazing: you can run. Yes, finally you can sprint away from those Deathclaws instead of resigning yourself to an inevitable death. Everything about this Fallout feels more streamlined than its predecessors. It draws you in much quicker, and the action is faster packed.
    That being said, this is really just my first impressions. I'm not that far into the game, I'm only level 12. I enjoyed the previous Fallout games, but it always took me forever to actually make progress in them. With Fallout 4, I am constantly wanting to jump back into the game. I care about the character I have created (in the truly robust character creator), I care about the companions I have met, and I want to see how ridiculously cute Dogmeat looks in all the different eyewear that I can find! Spoiler: he looks so cute in everything, but honestly, he's been wearing welding goggles the entire game because squee!  
    Those are my basic thoughts on the game. I'll give an update once I'm further into it, but right now I am enjoying the ride. 

An Infinite Sky

     I was out for a walk today with my dog, and the sky was absolutely breathtaking. Right in the middle was heavy cloud, flanked on either side by wondrous colour: one side was the oranges and yellows of the setting sun, on the other a light blue, everything stretching to the horizons.

dramatic shot of Teasag (pronounced Chessa) digging

    Under this impressive sky I had to stop, just to try and process what I was seeing. As I stood soaking in the majesty of the infinite, every care and worry on my soul shrank into trivialities. I stood on the edge of forever and everything fell into perspective. The universe was open to me, and for one beautiful instant I saw just how trivial all of my problems were compared to the whole. 

    Our world is falling apart, and I was worried about getting a book published. People are fleeing for their lives, their homes destroyed, and I was worried about bills. 

     As I stood there, under eternity, a wall broke inside of me, and I felt the pain that humanity itself is experiencing right now. It wasn't a piercing or stabbing pain, it was a dull ache as if something had been torn out a long time ago and never been replaced. 

     Never before this moment, have I felt the connectedness of all humanity. It burned through me, leaving me shaken. All this hate around the world is breaking us apart more than we already are. If the human race has ever needed love, it's right now. I pray to the gods above for love, to heal this fractured world we live in. Everyday something happens to try and break my belief in the human spirit, and everyday it is harder for me to believe in humanity, but I have not given up hope. I can't. If I gave up hope in humanity, I would be resigning myself to a dark future. I cannot allow myself to be part of that. So everyday I get up, and I stand up for humanity. I stand as a light in the darkness. I am turning the other cheek, and I am reaching out my hand to help those who need it. 

     The other day, a "Christian" asked me if I would help someone if they had hurt me, my response was simple. All I said was: Matthew 5:39. For those of you who aren't Christian, the verse, including the one previous for context, reads: "You have heard that it was said, 'AN EYE FOR AN EYE, AND A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH.' But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also." We live in an age where the answer to any aggression is revenge, and even Christians are joining in on that. Which baffles me because it's the exact opposite of what Christ would've done. Maybe it's silly of me to believe that Christians would follow Christ's example though... I try to, but most Christian churches in the area don't exactly care for my "radical" version of Christianity. Radical being I try to follow Christ's example. 

      Funny old world. 

     Amazing what a sky can do.

     Especially when that sky is showing you the infinite. 

About today's video

     Today, I am tired. Like, exhausted. But that's alright. I published a video today that I am super proud of. It was my fiftieth vlog. I took extra time composing the shots. I took extra editing them to make the video flow and to just seem different and special compared to my everyday vlogs.
     I'm not saying that all my videos aren't special, but I took way more time and put in way more effort for this one because I wanted to make it extra special. While editing, I actually got a little emotional as I began to see the beginnings of the final product.
      I enjoyed the silent film quality it had, once you remove the music it is completely silent other than the opening minute of monologue. I feel that taking away the sound really allowed the visuals to come to the forefront and allow the motions to be seen rather than heard. I'm going to be honest, the shot of my dog, Teasag (pronounced Chessa, it's Celtic), being super excited and running and jumping gave me a lump in my throat. You could see the joy in her actions, you didn't need to hear her paws hitting the floor, you could just see it.
      I think it was a very pure film. It allowed me, as a filmmaker, to try things that I hadn't tried before.
     I think it is a beautiful little film, and I hope you all enjoy it as well.

You can watch it here: https://youtu.be/d5ZVBieqKpA

Snows, freshly fallen

     The snows have freshly fallen, and the air has grown crisp. One could almost assume that winter has finally struck.
    One would be assuming correctly.
    So what does winter mean to those of us in the frozen tundra that we so bravely declare our home?
    Simply put, we get really cold and stay really cold until the spring, there are days where even the slightest touch of warmth is but a fleeting fantasy. Those days when the cold sinks right into your bones and doesn't let go. The days you feel as though you are freezing from the inside out.
    Winter means an abundance of cold and wet, of slush and ice, and an unending burning freeze. Winter means a tenfold increase in danger. Winter brings death along in its wake, and shrouds everything in a perpetual dark.
     Winter means putting on twenty pounds of clothing just to walk to the car, let alone to do anything outside.
     There's a reason why in all the the old tales Jack Frost is a killer and not a saint. Our ancestors knew that winter brought death.
    Nowadays people go out and play in the snow, they revel in the crystalline flakes that descend from the heavens. They slide across the ice with blades of metal strapped to their feet, they traverse down mountains sides upon thin strips of wood, all the while laughing in the face of death.
     Nowadays people receive joy at the sight of the first snow fall, where once our ancestors dreaded that fateful day, now people bemoan how long it takes to arrive. People go out and take pictures, dancing in the falling flakes, rapturous joy plastered on their faces!
     We are not so afraid of the winter as we once were, perhaps this is good. Perhaps it is not. But it simply is.
     Alas, it is winter, and I must settle in for it. The endless months of cold and snow and ice. The promise of the fleeting summer months, all that will keep me sane.
     For the snows have freshly fallen, and the air has grown crisp.  

I did it. I made a blog with Moss references.

     Quick update that I wasn't thinking I would have to give yet: I GOT THE JOB! AND MY CAPSLOCK KEY IS STUCK! AHHHH
     Kidding. I held the shift key for all of that. I ain't no capslock sucka.
     But yeah, I got the mother flipping job. And I'm going to dress like Moss everyday.

this Moss, not the plant

And if you still don't understand the reference, watch The IT Crowd. It's British and it's absolutely hilarious. It's about the IT department in this major company. Just watch it. Have I ever steered you wrong about a show before? 

     Now that I have this job, another concern has popped up; do I drive 3 hours (hour and a half in, hour and a half out) everyday, or do I find a place to stay in the city for three months? The costs are, honestly, fairly similar in either case, so it all boils down to seeing if I can find a place that's reasonable. 

     But oh man, I am so pumped to start this job. It's the start of a whole new adventure in an industry that I've literally always wanted to be more a part of, and now I am! I am so ready for this change. I think it's going to be a super positive experience! Plus the exposure I'll be receiving! Oh man. I am pumped. Like. Crazy levels of pumpeditude. It's a word. Don't question it. 

     Now I'm going to relax with a nice glass of milk, and enjoy my evening. Except, uh oh, I'm all out of milk. And you know what that means:

    With that note, I shall bid you ado until tomorrow.