not the hero

A few weeks ago a friend of mine told me that while they were getting a tattoo, they and their artist exchanged racist jokes about First Nations people. My friend, like myself, is white. When they told me this I was at a pretty low spot and I just wanted to talk to someone about my issues, so I was selfish and I didn't say anything. I let the racism slide, because I didn't want to deal with it, and to be blunt, it had nothing to do with me. I consider myself to be an activist regarding queer issues, and most other things, but that night I was tired, so I didn't do a damn thing.
When I told a mutual friend about that night, they got very upset with me for not saying anything. I made a lot of excuses for as to why I didn't say anything, but they all basically boiled down to: "I was tired and selfish." The mutual friend is First Nations and queer, they deal with way more than I do every single day. Every day is fight for them regarding every aspect of their being. For me? If I get too tired to fight, I can just stop and not worry because I look like a straight white male. And that night, I acted like one. I allowed my white privilege to take over my morals, simply because I was selfish.
And then I made excuses for my behaviour. Everyday that I don't get attacked for my race shows my privilege, and I grew complacent. I stopped caring about all the fights, and only focused on the ones that affect me. But that's not how activism works. I can't fight for equality and acceptance if I'm not fighting for true equality and acceptance for all. I can't fight for my equality if I'm leaving others behind.
I made a mistake that night, willfully, and through that I damaged a friendship that I cherish. On top of all of that, I never even told the person what was bothering me, so it was all for literally nothing.
Everyday is a fight for someone, so everyday I should be fighting.
As a white person, I must do better.
As a queer person, I must do better.
As a friend, I must do better.
Nothing I do can change the fact that I didn't say anything that night. All I can do is make sure that it does not happen again. 

The changing thoughts of Canada

I haven’t written about anything important for a while; sure, I’ve mentioned my opinions, but those don’t count. Today will be different.

                I have seen a fundamental shift in the paradigm of Canadian thought over the past few months. Or at least a changing of the prevalent thoughts. Since Trump began his campaign of xenophobia and ignorance, many here in Canada began to parrot his ideals. Hate crimes became more common, and racist thoughts became vocalized. A person running for head of the federal Conservatives is even trying to mirror Trump’s campaign. We, the strong North true and free, watched a megalomaniac come to power and decided that he had some good ideas.

                We, a nation that is still trying to earn back the trust and respect of the First Nations people, decided that now would be a good time to turn our backs on others simply because of their skin and beliefs. My feeds on social media are constantly assaulted by people who believe in this. People who are not willing to label themselves as racist because they know intrinsically that racism is bad, yet they still hold on to the tenets of it. Simply put, if you rail against people because of their religion or skin colour, you are a racist. There is no other word. You can call yourself the Alt-Right in a vain attempt at rebranding, but deep down everyone knows alt-right is just a way of saying Nazi without the historical baggage.

                We are a nation that fought, bled, and died to stop the original Nazis. We fought to stop the people purporting genetic purity and race classism, and now our closest neighbour and ally has elected one to lead its country. And we as a nation are thinking maybe that’s a good thing.

                This past year I have been called a white traitor and a traitor to Canada by my fellow Canadians. I have been spat on by people I once respected, all for saying that we should allow refugees into Canada. I was mocked by Christians I attended school with for saying that I am a feminist, and sent death threats for having the audacity to come out of the closet. I have straight friends who still use the word “fag”, and every time they say it, all I can think of were the times I was told to “go kill [myself], fag” or that someone was going to kill me for being a “fucking fag”. They’ll never understand how much it hurts to hear them say something that I associate with hate and death. Unfortunately, I believe that hate speak will be on the uptick the next couple of years as the racists and the ignorant feel more and more validated. People like this already believe that they are right and that they speak for us, and the more they believe that, the truer it will become. Hate is always louder than love. Love is the quiet actions in the night, whereas hate is the fire that burns bright.

                We are being surrounded by those flames, not yet engulfed, but surrounded all the same. The flames, for now, are stretched thin in their efforts to surround, and if we act now we can snuff out those flames before they become a bonfire.

                I use the term we in this because we are a country united. The thoughts of neighbours reflect upon us to the world, and if my use of the word we upsets you, stand up and act so that the world knows that we disagree. Stand up and act so the world knows that we are still Canada.

                We are better than this. We are better than the hate and racism that is spewing from our gutters.   

Fighting the fights

     Wow. You guys really like it when I put swears in my titles. I'll remember that. That being said, I'm really glad you guys enjoyed that post.
      I was playing Rocket League with a friend last night, we were having a good time, and then he called something "gay". I was about to say something about that when he suddenly called himself on it. He went on to to try and figure out why he uses the term "gay" to mean something bad. He was doing this all himself! He was self-diagnosing why he said something. As with most people, he came to the conclusion that it was a hold-over from his youth, and he made the conscious decision to quit using "gay" as a substitute for "bad" or "sucks".
      I mention this because as activists, it is very easy to get mad and go after someone for a slip of the tongue, or a regression to their youth. It doesn't excuse the action, but it does explain it. And, like my friend, I am sure many (not all) of the people who use these derogatory terms are not using them from a place of hate, merely a place of ignorance or familiarity. Like old people with their causal racism, we most gently remind these people that there are other, better words to use, and that by using words like "gay", "retarded", racial terms, etc., they could unintentionally hurting people. If the person is using them without ill-intent, they will be understanding and attempt to make a change.
     If the person reacts negatively and calls you a "f****t liberal pussy" (as has happened to me, far too many times), that is when you can get upset and angry.
      As activists, we must react calmly and rationally to these things. If we get angry at the slightest perceived slight, we lose our credibility, and we become part of the problem. We become toddlers having a tantrum, making things worse instead of better. We give the bigots more ammunition to fire at the "SJWs", and we make our position seem weak and ineffectual.
       On a side note, I kinda agree with Felicia Day when it comes to the term "SJW"": since when is calling someone a warrior an insult? Hell yeah I fight for social justice.
      We must face injustices with serenity. We must answer hateful screaming with calm conversation. If we scream back at those against us, all we do is add to the noise. Too often we excuse the casual hate from our friends and family, we too easily forgive it and don't say anything. But if we can't have a meaningful conversation with those closest to us on these matters, if we can't get them to listen to us, what chance have we with the world entire?
      So the next time your friend says something is "gay", or a relative makes a racist remark, say something to them. Tell them that they shouldn't say that, and explain why. If they're a good, decent person, they'll listen and try to change. And if they aren't a good and decent person? Cut them out of your life. Don't become an audience to their hate simply because you feel a familial obligation to them. Just cut them out. Just because someone is family doesn't mean you need to listen to them or like them. Hell, there's a full side of my family that I only see at funerals.
      Fill your life with positive people, and you will be making a positive change to the world. Fill your life with positive people, and you will be more effective at making positive changes to those around you. And most of all, be a positive person yourself. Honestly believe in the fights you take; don't pick up a banner for a cause just because it's trending. Fight the fights you believe in, and only those. 

Where is my Canada?

      I miss my country. No, I haven't left it. Still living here. But I miss what it used to stand for, and what its people stood for. I look at the Canada today, especially the western provinces, and I am greatly saddened. Where once stood a beacon of hope that shone out to the world, now stands a proverbial wall of distrust. Being Canadian used to be something one could be proud of, being Canadian used to tell others that they could trust you. Now I look around and I see people cheering for us to become more xenophobic. I see people fighting to keep refugees out of the country. I see people agreeing with Trump and Cruz. And I see people saying that we should become more like the States.
      All of this makes me sad. All of this makes me angry and furious. All of this makes me weep for my country. Canada was built upon the ideals of peace and trust. For decades, the entire world looked upon us as the peacekeepers, the rational ones. Immigrants would flood to Canada because they knew that they would be accepted and loved. Now we have people defacing mosques and temples. We have people delivering hate speech thinking that they are "preserving our Canadian identity". My grandfather, my uncles, my father, and other relations that served in the Canadian military did not put their lives on the line so that the people of Canada could be racist assholes.
      So many Canadians are starting to hate socialism as well--it's like they don't know what it is and forget that Canada is a socialist country. I honestly hope these people decrying socialism are using privatized healthcare, and aren't hypocritically using the public (socialized) health system our country is known for. And Saskatchewan, the birthplace of universal health care, is the worst for it! Saskatchewan, once the socialist stronghold of Canada and one of the most welcoming provinces in the country, now has the most conservative government in the country. I know people who literally celebrated the recent Sask Party win by telling socialists to suck it. Saskatchewan, the province that used to welcome everyone with a smile, now wants to kick the refugees out. Hell, the province has grown so xenophobic that some of the people are even mistrusting of white Canadians from other provinces. Which is something I, from British Columbia, have experienced first hand. For the first few years living here I was bullied and ostracized by the majority of my classmates simply because I was from a different province. I was routinely teased because of that. If the people here can get that riled up over other white people from the same country, imagine how they can be with people of different skin colours from other countries!  Because of recent comments made to me I feel I should add a disclaimer: I know not everyone from Saskatchewan feels this way, it's just a very vocal subgroup that does. That's how it is with everything though. Most people aren't racist or sexist, but too many people ignore the ones that are. When we ignore these people, they begin to feel legitimized, and that they have some kind of power. They begin to think that they are right. Worse, many begin to think they are righteous and on some kind of god-given quest to save mankind (so long as they're white! And literally only straight cis men!). A righteous bigot is a hard thing to stop. Any fanatic is hard to stop.
      A lot of people see their towns with rose tinted glasses. They hear the horror stories from other towns, but never think anything like that would happen in their town! So they do nothing. And the hate and the fear grow. And it festers in the cracks. And then some tragedy strikes that horrifies the town because no one saw it coming! Because no one cared enough to actually look. Because everyone thought that stuff like that only happened in other towns. People are beginning to look at Canada that way. They can't see the rot festering in the cracks and are so assured that things aren't going to happen here because it only happens in other countries.
      That, and it's hard to see the cracks when you're in them.
      I believe in this country. I believe in its people. I believe that we have the capacity to be the country that the rest of the world remembers. We are not the States. What they are and how they act SHOULD NOT define us! We are Canadian, the TRUE North, strong and free. We are the people who send peacekeepers into war torn countries, not soldiers. We're the country that helps other countries rebuild schools, not armies. We are the country that inspires hope, not inflicts fear. We used to be a country that known for being polite and nice; the country that did the right thing! And this didn't make the world see us as weak! They saw us as strong! Europe remembers what we did for them. How many of soldiers died defending their homes. Europe remembers Canada as what we're supposed to be. Why can't Canadians remember what Canada is supposed to be?
        Why can't Canadians remember that Canada is supposed to be one of the most inviting places on the planet? Why can't Canadians remember that we aren't the States? Why can't Canada remember that we are better than all this hate and xenophobia? Where is my Canada? Where is my grandfather's Canada? Where is the Canada that I was proud to call home? And why are all the real Canadians remaining silent? 

The Wrong Side of History

      I got frustrated yesterday. A person I had a lot of respect for told me that they think it's okay to fly the Confederate Flag simply because they don't associate it with racism. Okay. Cool. You don't associate the flag that slave owners flew while they fought a war so they could continue to own people of colour with racism. Then what do you associate it with? People often defend it saying it represents freedom to them, which is an argument that is laughable at best and harmfully ignorant at worst considering the flag's history. And saying you don't associate a flag with its own history is basically saying you don't associate the Canadian flag with Canada. A flag is made to represent groups and their ideals, and the Confederate flag was made to represent slave owners and their want to continue owning black people!
        At first I thought maybe they were just trying to defend their S.O., so I changed tracks and asked them if they would defend the Nazi (yes, those Nazis, the ones with Hitler) flag with the same argument. I thought for sure they would say no, and that it would flip so switches in their head! I was wrong. They said they would use the same argument for the Nazi flag. A flag, as I'm sure you know, under which genocide was done. A flag that one of the most evil organizations in history used. They went on to say that people could use these flags because "everyone is allowed to have their own opinions." Yes, everyone is allowed to have an opinion, but what those flags mean is not an opinion, but literally historical fact!
       As this stunningly obtuse conversation continued, they said that not everyone sees them as negative symbols. I agreed. Racists, Neo-Nazis, Skinheads, Homophobes, Islamophobes, etc., probably see those flags as positive things! In general, however, decent people, average people, see them as the negative things that they are! They quit responding after I mentioned that for some reason.
       Don't get me wrong, I 100% support freedom of speech and expression. That said, freedom of expression doesn't mean you get to go around hanging symbols of hate everywhere, just as freedom of speech doesn't mean you get to be a racist. I use my freedom of speech to speak out against hate and ignorance. I exercise that freedom every day, and I encourage everyone to exercise that freedom. I also live in a country where I am free to drink myself to death, but I exercise restraint because I'm a normal person who doesn't want to die.
       On a side note, that's going to make me sound so white, I asked some of my friends who happen to be people of colour for their thoughts on this person's argument. First they asked me if this was a real conversation I was having. Then they asked if the person was a racist or just a very stupid (one asked if the person was a Trump supporter). When they finally actually answered my original query their answers, all of them, boiled down to basically this: the Confederate flag is racist, no matter what way you try and look at. As for the bit with the Nazi flag, they said the person was "basically supporting genocide."
         We live in a culture where people (assholes) accuse others of being too sensitive and too PC, and that all of our being nice to each other is making future generations weak. I pity those people whose minds are small enough to believe that. We are not being "too PC" when we cut the offensive words out of everyday language. We are not weak for not wanting to offend our brothers and sisters. If anything, our dedication to making people feel accepted and loved makes us stronger than those who can't even control their own mouths.
         This seems like a big deal to make out of a piece of cloth. But this past year was the year we had a woman climb a public flag pole to take down a symbol of hate against her people, only to be arrested. This past year was the year we (I say we because we all live in North America, and the plights of the American people should be our concern) had more mass shooting than we had days in the year. This past year was the year a black child was shot two seconds after the police pulled up because he had a fucking toy. It's 2016, we should be living in a society where everyone is safe, and there are too many people pretending that that is the case. It's not. It is time to take these rags off of our eyes and see the world for how it really is. The world is a messed up place. Truly. And the people flying the Confederate Flag are not helping anything. At best they're stagnating process, at worse they are actively working against it.
         And, as history has shown us, the people waving that flag are on the wrong side.

The Importance of Star Trek

     I forgot to post yesterday... oops. Sorry about that, I just kept getting sidetracked by things. Mainly Star Wars. I mean, very professional, adult things. Yup, not Star Wars at all.

     ahem

     It`s no excuse, I know. I`m very sorry. 

     Anyways, because I started this off with Star Wars I`m going to talk about Star Trek in this blog. Logic! Don`t question my logic, I`m pretty much a Vulcan, so I know more about logic than you. Unless you`re an actual Vulcan... In which case, please message me so we can hang out in space and stuff. 

     Star Trek is very important to our culture and to the modern age. But Zak, you interrupt rudely, it was just a tv show! How is it important?

     Well, ignorant fool, it was a whole franchise of TV shows, 5 live-action with a sixth being worked on, and 12 movies with the 13th coming out next summer. So, not just a tv show. Gosh. Star Trek inspired generations of scientists, philosophers, and politicians. Cellphones were invited because people wanted the communicators from The Original Series. The Next Generation inspired laptops and tablets. Deep Space Nine explored the the human psyche on levels most television would have never dared to!

     One of the most culturally significant aspects of Star Trek comes from The Original Series. It was a show, that during the height of race riots and the Cold War, featured a black woman and Russian man as main characters. Not just main characters either, officers who held crucial positions on the flagship for Earth`s fleet. Uhura became an icon. Young Black girls in the 1960`s got to watch a series every week that showed them that they could do whatever they wanted. Uhura and Chekov showed a future where race didn`t matter because we were all human. 

      One of the most significant, and radical things Star Trek did, was to showcase the first, the very first, inter-racial kiss on television. For the first time in television history, a white man was shown kissing a black woman. It was revolutionary! And ridiculously controversial. 

      And Star Trek stayed controversial. It touched on subjects like same-sex relationships, poly-amorous relationships, racism, xenophobia, PTSD, consequences of war, torture, and so many more. They never did for publicity, all the things came up through clear and consistent story-telling, and were always done with grace.   

       There`s a section of my memoir dedicated to Star Trek where I go in-depth into the personal significance it holds. I love Star Trek. And I will say that it is the most important piece of pop culture ever produced until I fall into my grave. 

      That`s it for today. Tomorrow I have an interview with the longest running film festival in North America, so the tone of tomorrow`s blog will probably hinge on that...