Thank you! / How to get one million views!

To be honest, I don't know what I'm doing here.
Like, I don't have an idea for this post. I'm literally just typing and words are coming out. It's like stalling, but digitally.
How many people are actually reading this? and how desperate and needy did that sound?
A million. The answer is a million. Which is how many views this blog will get!






in around a thousand years. Don't get your hopes up John.

I wanna thank you guys, the ones who read this and watch my videos. You guys are amazing and awesome. The only reason that I do this is for you. That and I'm huge narcissist. Remind me to write a post on the relation between narcissism and art. Because there is a huge one. I should know after all.
I'm thanking you, and I'm talking about myself. Typical.
I'm in the process of filming my 30th vlog today! Not my 30th video, that was passed a few days ago, but my 30th vlog! Which is awesome! I never thought I would become a youtuber, and yet here I am. Posting videos on a daily basis, and loving the experience. I would love it way more if more people were watching, but I'll get there. Once I start doing more interesting things... But come on! Who doesn't want to watch the extremely boring exploits of a struggling author who isn't making money? That's entertainment gold right there.
Anyways, I should be writing... 

Writing a Memoir: Day ?

Ok. So, I am currently writing a memoir.
Which may be insane considering how low the views are on both my vlog and here on my blog. But I'm doing it anyways. Why? Because I am a damn good writer, and some parts of my life may help people with parts of their lives.
How? You ask condescendingly.
Because my life has been filled with a billion ups and downs and twists and turns, you ass. I've been mega religious, I've felt betrayed by the people I've trusted, I've lied to myself about my sexuality and gender, and I've come (in the process) to terms with who I am. No one is more qualified to write this story than I am, and no one wants it published more than I do.
Do you know what the benefits would be to have an asexual author publish their memoir would be? It would bring asexuality into the mainstream. It would educate the masses on its very existence! It would help those poor youth who think they're broken realize that there is nothing at all wrong with them, and my god I would look good on a book jacket. Have you seen some of my selfies? They're basically calling out for a book jacket to call home!
I'm only 4000 words into this thing, and I'm already getting emotional.
And I need to remember to post here. Because this is helpful. And brings in the views. And money? Anyone wanna give me money? No? Okay...