Positive thoughts

      Got an interview today with SaskAbility for a Custom Employment Mentor position. I'm looking forward to it. It will be nice to have a job again where I'm actively helping people. Also the pay is significantly more than what I'm currently receiving. That's a nice little bonus.
      I've also enjoyed helping people. I believe that I excel in it. It's something that I've loved doing for a very long time--as long as I can remember actually. From when I was very small and telling people (complete strangers) that smoking was bad to my activism today. I enjoy my activism, and I know that it is helping people, but I'm really looking forward for this position because it will allow me to see the results of my help first hand and in real time. Being able to go to sleep knowing 100% that you actively helped someone is an amazing feeling.
     This morning, while brushing my teeth, I actually gave myself a pep talk in the mirror. I've never done that before, and I feel like it was one of the most cliched things I've ever done. But it felt good. Even though I was the one saying the encouraging words, hearing them aloud just felt good. Maybe that's some good advice for today: say nice and encouraging things to yourself out loud in the mirror. Do it at home though, not at work. Some co-workers might overhear and think you're crazy.
      Actually, on second thought, do it at work if you want. Who cares what your co-workers think? You deserve to hear nice things whenever you want! You go do it right now! Look at all this positivity! It's practically overflowing in a grandiose rainbow of joy.
       I don't actually know how I feel about that sentence, but I worked in the word "grandiose", so it's staying.
     If you're feeling down about something today, or every day, take a minute and find the closest mirror (or the front facing camera on your phone), look yourself in the eyes, and say something nice OUT LOUD about yourself. Say something encouraging, give yourself a compliment, something--anything!--positive! It won't make a huge change, it won't instantly turn things around, but it will give you a small amount of positivity. There are days where that's all we get, and some times that's all we need to make it through. Some days, one nice thing is all we need to keep living. Survival is worth looking a little crazy for.
      If you don't want to say something to yourself, if you don't feel like your worth it, allow me: you are all wonderful people, full to the brim with the potential to do amazing things! You are going to make it through this day, and the next one, and all the ones after that. You're going to get up, and you are going to conquer your world, one step at a time. I am so proud of you. You inspire me to better myself. You're gonna make it through this. You always have. No matter how bleak and dark it looks right now, you're gonna pull through. And that makes you amazing. I love you, and I will continue to until the day I depart this earthly realm. You are wonderful.  

I NEED YOUR HELP

      Okay. My 100th vlog is coming up pretty soon and I want to do something cool to celebrate it. Like hit a million subscribers (brb laughing break), or attain true inner peace and happiness (brb crying break). Crazy pipe dreams aside, I do want to celebrate this significant milestone. I have some semblance of a plan, but I don't think it's enough. I want something BIG. Maybe not physically big, but emotionally. Mentally. Something significant and important. I mean, it's 100 vlogs guys. That is big. It is significant. It means I stuck with something for a long time. And vlogging on a mostly daily basis is not something small. It's time consuming. Setting up shots, going through all of the raw footage to find stuff that's actually good, and then editing and uploading! It's time consuming. Let alone the emotional commitment (took me a solid minute to think of the word "commitment") involved. Everyday I am putting myself out there for the entire world to see. Everyday I am leaving myself open to ridicule and hate. Every video I publish has the ability to destroy my ego. Plus people give you really weird looks in small towns when you whip out a camera to film everyday stuff.
        All that boils down to this: vlogging is hard. Emotionally, mentally, physically. Day in and day out I am putting myself in the cross hairs of the public. Everyday I worry that maybe someone will dislike my videos enough to do something about it. But, vlogging is fun. Everyday I'm challenging myself to do something new. To try something. And everyday I am creating something new, something that had never existed before I created it. And as an artist, that feeling of daily new creation is worth all the risks.
         My 100th vlog is going to be a risk, no different from the others. It will be something new. It will be mine. I want my 100th vlog to be special. My 50th vlog was, my 2015 reflection was, and my 100th will be. That said, I need your help. Yes, that's right: your help is needed. I want you to send me things that you want in my 100th vlog. Pictures of us together, pictures of you by yourself, a poem, a video, questions, a song. Whatever it is, I want it to be special to you, and have a tie to me. Obviously. It's my vlog. Has to do with me somehow. If all goes to plan, my 100th vlog will be going live on March 3rd. That means I will be filming and editing it on the 2nd, so if you're going to submit something, it needs to be before March 2nd.
          I will throw an email address down for you below to submit to, you can also submit stuff at my tumblr, or Facebook. The email isn't my personal one, it's a business one (heh, business). Honestly, I would prefer through email, but any of those will work.


zakitudevlogs.tumblr.com
shran100@gmail.com
facebook.com/zakitudevlogs