I’ve
come to the realization that I, a writer, have never actually put to words my
coming out. I’ve spoken about in videos, and I have mentioned my sexuality in
other posts and articles, but I have never actually written down my coming out.
Since it is #NationalComingOutDay, and my pumpkin spice latte is empty, I
thought that today would be a good day to do so.
I
am asexual, and my journey towards that discovery was long. I won’t bore you
with that journey as this is the story of my coming out, and not of my entire
life. I discovered asexuality through tumblr, also known as the modern
encyclopedia, and I immediately felt a connection to the term. I dismissed that
connection at first and scoffed at the very idea! By the next day I was reading
every article I could find on the subject. With each article I read, things
made more sense. After a few days of research and reflection, I came out to
myself as asexual.
I
didn’t rush out and tell a bunch of people right away. I wanted to understand
things first. After a while, I did tell a few close friends just so that I didn’t
have to process it all by myself. Around this time of slowly coming out, I
began to look at my gender identity as well. Was I male? Was I something else?
I never had the opportunity to explore my gender before, and now, with my
research into sexualities, I was able to explore the idea of gender. I was
learning so much about myself, now that I actually allowed myself to question
things!
I
slowly began to tell more people, and soon I was tired of just telling people
individually; it was too time consuming. So I did what anyone from my generation
would do: I tweeted about it. And posted on Facebook and Instagram.
Soon
I was getting messages of love and support from the friends that didn’t already
know. It felt so good. Of course there were people who didn’t understand, but
no one was outright rude or mean. I got the expected “so ur a plant lol” from
some people, and a few asked me if I thought about what would happen to my “social
standing” now that I was out. One person even asked me if my friends were worried
that other people would think they were like
me.
Over
all, my coming out was smooth. Most of the questions were polite and genuinely
curious. Most of the comments were positive and supportive! It could’ve gone a
lot worse, and I was scared that it would. But it didn’t. I took my time. I did
it in a place where I felt comfortable, and at a time when I felt I was ready.
